When You Don't Know What To Write

If I am going to be perfectly honest I'd have to say that I drafted this blog post during one of my lectures this afternoon. Yes, I know I should have been taking notes, but it at least looked like I was. I sit towards the back and text my sister back in America or doodle song lyrics in my notebook. Don't worry I can still give a general outline of the lecture. But today I chose to spend the two-hour slot drafting a post on What To Do When You Don't Know What To Write (really long title I know so I shortened it later). I've been searching for ideas to use for my projects due in a few months time and not being able to think of any. I don't know where to start. I guess I just keep thinking that something will hit me, but it never does, which is incredibly frustrating when you're in the mood to write something. So I thought what's stopping me from writing anyway? I pulled out my notebook in that lecture and started putting anything and everything onto the page.

"My stomach is growling rather loudly since I didn't remember to grab a bagel or banana on my way out to my morning class. Each time it growls seems longer and louder than the last and I'm sure that the person two seats over from me as well as the row in front of me and behind me can hear it as well. My left foot is completely pins and needles. I guess I had my legs crossed for too long. *switches legs* I'm still in my scarf and coat because I can still feel the outside chill even though it's been an hour. If I stop writing for too long the lecturer's voice will lull me to sleep. I'm always sleepy these days, which is curious. I never used to get sleepy in classes. I want to wake up. I should wake up. In a way I can't really fall asleep because the person behind me put on perfume at the start of class and it's so strong I think I'm getting a headache. Keyboards on laptops are clicking away, some writing down class notes, some online shopping, others browsing facebook. I'm just doodling. Scribbling away in a notebook for a topic. (I am convinced the nail polish I'm wearing is the color of dark purple grapes and my handwriting is still inconsistent.) Wondering what in the world I could write about."

But then I realize I just did. It wasn't really writing about something in particular. It was just writing. This was enough to satisfy that want for words on paper though. At least for the time being. Sometimes you just really need to write something down. Not because you have something to say, but because you want to write. Usually this writing in itself is no good. I don't normally let anyone see what my brain comes up with during these sessions of mindless scribbling, but this time I am because I'm trying to prove a point. It doesn't matter if what you write is amazing all the time. You don't have to wait until you get one perfect idea and then slowly think hard and write one perfect sentence followed by another perfect sentence. It's just not realistic. You'll be waiting forever, and eventually you will forget what made you want to write anything at all. Write for the motion of it. Going for too long without this makes me restless. I like the motion of my hand and pen across paper over and over. Write for what the page looks like as it slowly fills up with line after line of letters in messy of carefully printed rows. Write anything. Write everything.